Nike GPS watch

I hate running. There. I said it. A trip to my distant past will show my disdain and utter lack of ability in this area. Running the 600 hundred-yard dash in grade school. Last place. Running lines in junior and high school basketball. Last.

So it has come as a complete surprise that I've fathered two children that are actually decent at the sport. My daughter is on the varsity in both track and cross country, and my son is in his first year of cross country as a 6th grader in middle school.  They are so much faster than me that I'm questioning their birth certificates.

One thing I have on them is age and wisdom (some at least.) The sport of cross country running is such that pace is key component. Knowing what your pace per mile is becomes very important.

To that end, I started researching watches that could provide this data. Originally I was thinking that a watch with a good stopwatch/chronograph would work. But as I researched the subject some more, I found that GPS watches had come a long way. They are now accurate, small and affordable.

A search of ebay listed a number of them including watches by Garmin, Tom Tom, Timex, Suunto, Polar, and others. The watch I ended up going with was the Nike GPS watch made by Tom Tom. I got it for a very reasonable $40 used. It's not the smallest watch and it doesn't have a feature that the Garmin Forerunners have, which is virtual partner, allowing you to keep pace with your previous runs. But it tracks your time, distance, pace, heart rate (with optional sensor), and calories burned. You can then see your mapped route with pace data & changes in elevation on the Nikeplus.com site.
The watch comes with rechargeable lithium polymer battery, which charges via USB, giving the watch eight hours of run time with the GPS and sensor both turned on. Without those turn on, it provides up to 50 days of standby power.

I bought it as a reward for my daughter in making the varsity xc squad. I thought she'd be thrilled. Instead she declined to wear it because, "No one else on the team wears one." Isn't that exactly what you'd expect out of a 15 year-old's mouth? Nevermind that it could help her training immensely. Some day (when she's over 30) she'll appreciate what her old dad was trying to do for her. On the plus side, I've got a nifty toy that shows me how incredibly slow I am at a moment's notice.

JR Talker Duck Call

I have a friend, Troy Buzalsky, who is a fireman by day, but an outdoor writer in his heart. He's written articles in a number of outdoor magazines including Fish Alaska and Salmon Trout Steelheader magazine.

A couple of weeks ago, we got together and I mentioned that I'd had my 50th birthday recently. He apologized for missing it and we didn't discuss it further. I did notice the JR Talker duck call he had sitting on his dash though. He said he'd just gotten it from his friend JR (Wally) Anderson. JR makes each of these calls by hand and is incredibly detailed about it. These things are works of art. I've often thought of getting into the duck call-making business, but after seeing the exacting nature of creating these calls, I've decided I don't have it in my makeup.

So out the blue, Troy stopped by yesterday to deliver a surprise. My very own JR Talker, with the words, "Happy 50th" printed on the ring. And it was in Wisconsin Badger color to boot!

If you're looking for a call that sounds great and is an heirloom piece that you can hand down to your kids or grandkids, visit JR's website at www.jrtalker.com.

Elowah Falls, Oregon

In this day and age when anyone can snap a pretty good photo, there is still a difference between those photos and a photo taken by a professional. I've always wanted to take pictures like this. My mind sees it, but I can't make the camera do what I want! Richard Bitonti has figured it out. He's a photographer in the Pacific Northwest, and takes fantastic photos of places like Elowah Falls, which is in Oregon along the Columbia Gorge east of Portland.

Zondo Self-Heating Gloves

As a man that loves the outdoors, I have to admit I'm somewhat of a wimp. I get cold really easily, especially at my extremities, the fingers and toes.

Of course I would never admit this to anyone. Instead I would make excuses to come off the mountain. "Hey, let's go grab a beer!" Or, "did you see Donald Trump just going into the lodge? Let's go see if his hair is real!"

I've tried a million different types of gloves and boots, none of which helped. Remember Thinsulate?

And thanks to our obsession with naming previously common conditions for which there needed no name, I now know I have "Raynaud's Disease," which is a syndrome that causes some areas of the body to feel numb and cool in response to cold temperatures or emotional stress. It was first described in 1862 by Maurice Raynaud (1834 - 1881), a French physician.

I can picture it now. Maurice was at the top of the Eiffel Tower in January, wearing paper thin, silk gloves, and he thought to himself, Mon Dieu, Je suis froid! (My God, I'm cold.) He clearly thought he was the first person to have ever experienced this condition. And, being the attention hound that he was, decided to name it after himself.

Now instead of screaming, "I'm freezing!" I can scream, "I've got Raynaud's Disease!"

Finally, someone has used a bit of science to solve this problem. Zondo has teamed with Astec to produce a Self-Heating Gloves and Insoles.  These products contain a unique fleece fabric which draws energy and reflects body heat in order to raise and maintain your natural body temperature. The polymer metal coated fibers create an excellent circulation of warmth. There are no batteries and the fabric lasts for the life of the product, so no replacing heating elements.

The gloves are touchscreen sensitive too, and come with a nice zippered pocket to hold valuables.

This is another gem I found on kickstarter, and they are reasonably priced at $55 USD with a projected delivery date of November 2015. Just in time for ski/snowboarding season!

Clear Lake Oregon - Global Warming Has Hit

My son and I took a trip up to Mt. Hood yesterday to explore. We love getting into the car and heading to a trail or lake that we've never seen.

When we got to the lake it was a huge disappointment. What once once an obviously beautiful lake is now a shallow pond surrounded by fetid, decaying ground with flies buzzing all around. The graveyard of tree stumps and long lost bottles litter the lake shore.

I felt like we were at Chernobyl or someplace where a nuclear accident had happened.

The lack of snowfall this past winter and over the last 10 years, led to this lake drying up to almost non-existence. Of course I have no way to prove it's because of global warming, but the evidence does point in that direction.

Maybe Obama can bring about some action when he speaks at the National Clean Energy Summit in Las Vegas today.

Sprongs Camp Utensils

Did you know there are 13 types of forks? Dinner, Fish, Lunch, Lobster, Fruit, Salad, Dessert, Ice Cream, Pastry, Seafood, Strawberry, Snail, and Oyster. My favorite has to be the Ice Cream Fork. How does that work?

There are also 14 types of spoons: Iced-Beverage, Oval Soup, Dessert, Place, Cream Soup, Teaspoon, Five-O'Clock, Ice Cream, Citrus, Bouillon, After Dinner Coffee, Chocolate, Demitasse, and Salt. The most interesting would be the Five-O'Clock. It was made for an era when afternoon tea was taken at five o'clock.

Sprongs Camp Utensils

There have been Sporks and Foons, but finally someone invented Sprongs. A brilliant, yet simple design that turns the fork and spoon into a third, desperately needed camping utensil--tongs.

The Sprongs are made from durable, light-weight nylon 66. They are food safe and will not melt. The spoon and fork lock together for easy storage. They have a lanyard hole so you can hang them from your pack or around your neck. They are approximately 8.5 inches long which allows you to reach the bottom of dehydrated meal pouches easily. The spoon is actually exactly 1 tablespoon in volume so it doubles as a measuring tool. The fork has a bail hook for lifting hot lid handles without burning yourself.

As with much of my finds, this one comes from kickstarter. You can pre-order a set for only $10. I "Sprongly" suggest you get a set. You see what I did there? Pretty good, huh?

Cacoon Hammock - Alien Spacecraft or Pleasure Craft?

***ALERT***ALERT***ALERT***ALERT***

Cannon Beach, OR - At approximately 2:30 AM PST, an alien craft was spotted over the Oregon coast near the town of Cannon Beach. Witnesses were able to take a photo of this strange orb as it approached the coastline.

Eyewitness Clem Mayhill happened to have his Kodak pocket camera handy and snapped the grainy photo seen here.

"Me and the Mrs. were out for an evening stroll along the shoreline, when we dang near got hit by a freakin UFO! I was too flabbergasted to do anything, but the wife slapped me and shouted, "Take a picture, Clem" and I whipped out the camera and took a shot. I didn't know if I had gotten anything until we developed the photos this morning."

Mrs. Mayhill commented that the object hung in the air for what seemed to be 5 or 10 seconds then shot away from them at light speed.

"I could swear I saw two beings inside the craft," said Mrs. Mayhill. "They seemed very comfortable and relaxed, almost like they were on vacation and looking for a place on the beach."

She went on to say that she imagined herself inside the cozy-looking nest and said that it wouldn't take her more than a few minutes to fall asleep inside the cacoon-shaped vessel.

Other witnesses mentioned it's uncanny resemblance to a new product called just that - the Cacoon Hammock. The Cacoon Hammock is a hammock-type enclosure that can be hung from any strong branch or other suitable support. It's safe and strong, small enough to carry yet big enough to share. Its weather-proof fabric is resistant to all the elements. It’s been tested and hung in all types of environments – in the garden, on a hike, in the woods, by the coast, in the office, in sports and leisure centers, in bedrooms and dens, in hotels and adventure playgrounds – inside and out, just hanging out and giving people a lot of fun.

The Cacoon comes in three sizes, Single, Double, and Bonsai (for one child.) You can get your Cacoon Hammock by visiting cacoonusa.com.

Sleeping Bag Hammock | Bison Bag G2 By Clayborne Outdoor

G2 Bison Bag Sleeping Bag Hammock

One of my favorite shows growing up was Gilligan's Island. Well, maybe it wasn't my favorite show, but it was the only decent one of the three available when I got home from school (it was the 70s.) In fact, the show frustrated the heck out of me. After one or two times of Gilligan sabotaging their chance to get off the island, I would have made sure Gilligan didn't get off the island if you get my drift.

But I did like how they lived. Those cool grass huts were really decked out. And Gilligan and the Skipper had hammocks to sleep in. I begged my mom to replace my bed with a hammock. Of course, she did not, so my dreams were dashed.

My dream was reignited when I saw what could very possibly be the perfect hammock. Why is it perfect? Because it's not only a hammock, it's a sleeping bag too! It's one of those inventions that make you say, "Why didn't I think of that?"

The Bison Bag G2 by Claybourne Outdoor is an improved version of their G1. The G2 has a polyester design featuring triple layer insulation to ensure that minimal body heat escapes during sleep in the great outdoors. The G2 is rated to 55 degrees Fahrenheit but can be used in lower temperatures if using a sleeping bag pad. An included sleeping bag sack allows you to carry the sleeping bag, hammock, carabiners and rope.

Here are the stats:

• Size:  Sleeping Bag 190X 100cm/rectangle 
• Size:  Hammock 98cmX280cm
• Material: 170T polyester
• Filling: polyester microfiber 220gsm 
• Zipper: #5 double head 
• Weight Limit: 215 Lbs

I am so looking forward to camping without being trapped in a tent. To be able to wake up and the first thing you see is a beautiful lake, the tops of the trees swaying in the wind and the smell of dew on the ground. Not the stale recirculated air in a stuffy tent.

The Bison Bag G2 is part of a kickstarter campaign where you can be one of the first to get your hands on this hammock. You can also find out more information at their website, http://www.campclayborne.com.

StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier

Last weekend our family went for a trip to the coast. We rented a small beach house that had everything we would need for an enjoyable stay. But my wife packed our vehicle like we were moving in permanently.

"You never know," she said. "They may not have comfortable mattresses, so we should bring the sleeping bags" and "what if they don't have a fireplace poker? We should bring ours just in case."

And the kids were no better. "What is there to do at the beach, dad? We better bring the Wii and some games."

Luckily, we had just purchased our StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier. The Max version holds a whopping 16 cubic feet of stuff. That's considerably larger than the competitors. We were able to get 4 suitcases, the espresso machine, a hammock(?), and the coveted Wii console in it. My wife may have a hoarding problem.

The StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier has a swing-away feature that lets me get easy access to the trunk contents. It also comes pre-wired with tail lights that hook up to your car's electrical system and it even has a license plate holder. They thought of everything!

Well, the weekend was a success. 9/10th's of the stuff we brought didn't get touched. But as my wife was quick to point out, "Luck favors the prepared." By that reasoning we must be the luckiest family in the world.

Best Pocket Chainsaw

Finally! A saw you can fit in your pocket! We have been waiting for years for this invention. A little background. I come from a logging family. For 5 generations my family has made their living by cutting logs and hauling them out of the forest. Are you familiar with Easter Island? Yeah, my family took care of that. Before we got there, it was a tall forest of Douglas Fir. But how is anybody going to see monolithic statues when they're surrounded by trees? Want an example more close to home? How about Mt. Rushmore. Believe it or not, Mt. Rushmore was covered with Christmas trees. Poor Abe Lincoln looked like he was spiking his hair. They called us in to take care of that.
So suffice to say, we know what we're talking about when it comes to saws. In fact, we've tried to invent a pocket saw ourselves, but with horrible outcomes. My great-grandfather Boyd almost lost the family jewels after his spring-loaded pocket saw uncoiled in mid-step. So, while we're a little sad that we didn't come up with this unique design, we're glad someone did.
This Pocket Chainsaw is the best pocket chainsaw you'll find. It's made of high strength, heat-treated steel and it's coated for rust resistance. It'll fit in your shirt pocket, pants pocket, coat pocket, hot pocket, or any other pocket you can find. Ah, Hot Pockets...couldn't you go for one of those right now? Me too. Check out Jim Gaffigan's take on Hot Pockets here. The saw is 28" long and weighs in at only 6oz. Heck, that's like saying it floats on air! What's more, it has 124 Bi-directional teeth. See ya later, Alligator! There's a new sherriff in town! And best of all, it can be used by one or two persons. Make a new friend by inviting them to saw wood with you. You may get slapped a few times as they infer that this means something else, but it will be worth it when you find a true friend. 

Campside Whiskey Old Fashioned

When I lived in the Midwest, my friends Peach, Boss, Todd and I would go camping the first week in May in upper Wisconsin. For those of you who know anything about upper Wisconsin in the Spring, you know that it's still damn cold. We liked to find lakes that were uninhabited by any other campers, which, at that time of the year was most of them.

One of the rituals we developed was having Old Fashioneds after dinner. Peach had a special recipe that really hit the spot. But it was a lot of work for a campsite. Luckily, he had his travel cocktail bar, containing almost everything needed.

The Ingredients are as follows:

• Kessler Blended Whiskey
• 7-up
• Angostura Bitters
• Maraschino cherries
• cherry juice
• sugar
• orange
• lemon slice
• cinnamon sticks

The process is as follows:

Pour a couple of ounces of 7-up into a highball glass, then add two teaspoons of sugar and two jiggers of bitters. Muddle. Then add ice to the brim of the glass. Now add 1 ounce (or to taste) of Kessler. It has to be Kessler. No other blended whiskey works as well. Believe me, I've tried.

Now stir with a cinnamon stick. Add zest of orange, slice of orange and slice of lemon. Add jigger of cherry juice. Stir again and drink.

There is nothing better than sitting in your camp chair sipping your Old Fashioned and staring at a roaring campfire on a cold, crisp Northern Wisconsin night (and listening to the Chief on the radio playing country & western songs...right guys?)

Windcatcher Airpad 2 Sleeping Pad - the best backpacking sleeping pad

I recently attempted to break the record for the longest "Shh" but came up just short of the 1 minute, 44 second world record currently held by Jovah Siegal set on 7/26/10. My time was 1 minute 6 seconds. Granted, this was my first attempt and I will start to train vigorously over the next few months to attempt to break this record that has stood for almost five years.

Now I realize that I'm ready to get myself a Windcatcher Airpad 2 Sleeping Pad. The Windcatcher is the first sleeping pad that is inflatable without having your lips touch the valve. Their Quickstream™ Inflation multiplies your breath 10 times.

The Windcatcher® valve allows for EFFORTLESS DEFLATION and even doubles as the pad's carrying case, so you'll never lose or fumble with a clumsy stuff-sack again. The Windcatcher® AirPad 2™ also features an extra comfy 4" thick quilted support system for superior cushioning and comfort.

I'll be posting my world record attempt on YouTube any day now. Look for the press release announcing a new WORLD RECORD!

Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammock

I am UBA KAMILA, the first son of the third wife of President Jacque Kamila. With regards to detailed information and recommendation of your person and company from the Johannesburg Chamber of commerce and Industry (JCCI), I wish to ask for your favor and assistance in a very confidential business arrangement. A large amount of Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammocks have come into my possession. I am needing your assistance in receiving this hammocks for safe keeping till when i come over to your country.
 

These hammocks are highly sought-after. The new Asymmetrical shape provides instant comfort over rocky, wet or sloping terrain and protection from sun, wind, rain, black flies, etc. The Expedition includes a patented self-closing entrance through the bottom, which seals automatically and a new comfortable shape to keep your back straight and level when resting on the diagonal. If you want to know how to hang a hammock, view this video. So now you understand how valuable this shipment is.

These hammocks were given to me as a portion of inheritance from my father and was never disclosed to anyone in the family except my twin sister, due to the polygamous battle for the struggle of birth right and for the fact that this his major properties and wealth were shared among his four legitimate wives.

My Mother happened to be third although she died when i was seven years old and we have little or nothing out of it.

I am currently in loggerheads with my elder brother MUSA, a major general who is currently Democratic Republic of congo’s (DRC) head, after our father was fatally shot dead by 2nd deputy defense secretary Haishiva Haludu on tuesday night, as a result of a growing rift between him and some of his top army commanders.

All i want from you is to assist me in claiming my consignment from the Security Company and assist me also in transferring the hammocks into your posession.

IF there is any way you can assist me, morally and financially, I would be most indebted to you. Please endeavor to keep this business confidential though it is 100%risk free. I am prepared to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance.

Best regards,

Uba Kamila

Campfire in a Can

Store Employee: "Hello, Thank you for calling IGA. How can I help you?"
Me: "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
Store Employee: "Yes, we do."
Me: "Well you better let him out!"
<Click>

Ah, just think. There was a time when I thought that was funny. I'm sure the store thought it was hilarious. But when you're 11 and completely bored in the pre-cell phone era, what do you have but the telephone and your anonymity?

This little story sheds light on two things: first, I was emotionally stunted as a kid, and second, I like things in a can. So when I saw the Campfire In A Can, I knew it was right up my alley.

In terms of car camping I have always been frustrated at getting to a particular spot only to find out that they didn't have a fire pit or grill. The Campfire In A Can portable propane fire pit solves this problem. It also is great in areas where there are firewood restrictions or fire bans.

It's easy and quick to set up uses no wood, so it's smoke-free and spark-free, there are no ashes to clean up, and it's safe for use on patio mats, decks and grass.

You're not going to be lugging this thing in your pack on a long trip, but it serves a purpose--making you feel like you're camping. What is camping without a fire?

To buy one of these great portable propane fire pits, go to www.campfireinacan.com.

Folding Firebox Nano Camp Stove

Is Kickstarter the coolest thing or what? The other day I was browsing on the site, trying to decide where to invest my extra millions, when I came across a camping product that is the ultimate in ultralight gear.

The Folding Firebox Nano is a foldable backpacking stove that weighs less than 6 oz. When folded, it's only 3" wide and .25" thick. That is tiny. The site says it has a "proprietary cross-feed fuel delivery system" which really means it allows you to insert sticks into holes on two sides of the stove and cross them, which creates a quicker, less smokey fire. If you don't want to use sticks, it can also accept a Trangia Spirit Burner, which accepts alcohol stove fuel. The Firebox Nano is hinged so you don't have to assemble it. Just pop it open, direct the pot stand arms inward for a small cup, or outward for a larger pot or frying pan and you're all set.

Now, I'm all for homemade backpacking stoves or hobo stoves, but why make one when the firebox nano has already been invented?

Nomad Collapsible Hot Tub

Are you "That Guy?" When you go to a party, does anyone even acknowledge that you have arrived? Do you find that people avoid the space or room that you're standing in? When you strike up a conversation, does the other person suddenly say, "It looks like I need a refill," and b-lines away from you?

If you are "That Guy" there is still hope. You just have to bring something to the party that gives you instant party cred. Something that says, "I know how to party the right way."

While it's not a six-pack or some fireball, the Original Nomad Collapsible Hot Tub is just the thing to get the party started.

This collapsible hot tub is designed to be easy to set up and get soaking. Simply insert the framing tube and support poles. If you want it hot, attach the separately purchased heater coil unit, then fill with water. The whole process takes just 20 minutes. For remote sites, Nomad recommends using a Honda WX10 portable water pump that is capabe of filling the tub in 10 minutes.


The 225 gallon tub is 60" in diameter and 24" high. The Nomad comes in red, yellow, or black and has 18 oz vinyl walls and has a 24 oz. vinyl floor.

Friends sold separately.

Rescue Me Balloon SOS Device

Rescue Me Balloon

Time: 1973.
Place: the Mississippi River
Situation: A young boy and his father are out on a leisurely boat ride aboard their trusty 15 foot Cacci Craft runabout. Several miles from civilization, the father decides to head into a backwater slough to do a little fishing. Boy sets anchor and they fish for 30 minutes. At the end of that time period, father attempts to start their reliable 65 hp Mercury outboard. It will not start. Over and over the father tries to start it without luck. Eventually father decides they should try to paddle to the main channel to get someone's attention so they can be towed to the nearest marina. This goes horribly wrong and they end up stuck on a small island separating the slough from the channel. It's getting late. Storm clouds are on the horizon. What to do?

If the Rescue Me Balloon had been invented then, they could have launched this and been rescued within a short time. The Rescue Me Balloon is a lightweight, compact, easy-to-carry device, which puts an SOS balloon 150 feet into the air, flashing an SOS signal with a super-bright LED that can be seen for miles. As far as SOS devices are concerned, led balloons are the way to go. Your emergency rescue is imminent.

Instead, father gets out of the boat to try and pull it off the island, only to be confronted with a deadly water moccasin snake, whose strike narrowly misses the father's head.

Hours later, having finally been able to paddle the craft to the main channel, the father/son team are able to flag down a passing boat and are towed to safety.

The Cacci Craft (now dubbed the Crappy Craft) and its POS Mercury engine are sold to some sucker and the father buys a 45-foot houseboat, which stays in port 95% of the time. The boy becomes hydrophobic and moves to the desert. The domino effect rears its ugly head. This is a true story (except for the last part. I didn't move to the desert and am not hydrophobic. Makes a better story though, doesn't it?)

Tentsile Stingray Tent

When I was a kid, the Sasquatch craze was in full bloom, with multiple shows and specials about the hairy beast. We lived in the woods and my imagination was incredibly vivid. Every noise or movement was further proof that Bigfoot was on our deck or outside my second-story window looking in. Needless to say, I didn't do a lot of solo camping back then.

Fast forward decades later. I just watched Les Stroud's new series on the Science channel called "Survivorman: Bigfoot."  And the fear is back. I need to do something. I have to face my fear. Live amongst the giant. But how to observe him in his natural habitat while giving myself a measure of security?

I will live in the trees. And I have just the right tent to do it.  The Tentsile Stingray is my answer. The Stingray is a 3-person air-born tent. It is triangular, with straps stretching from each corner to a tree. the straps are secured to tree via ratchet mechanism to create a perfectly suspended treehouse. It comes with a removable flysheet which can be pegged outwards to the ground to create a covered porch area. The tent is accessed via a floor hatch in the bottom of the tent or via the large front door.

If you put this thing high enough, say 12 feet off the ground, you should be out of the reach of Bigfoot. I'm not sure if Bigfeet (is that the plural?) can jump, but if they can you might want to put it a little higher.

Of course, if you don't believe in Sasquatch, then you can lower it somewhat. It will still protect you against know predators - snakes, ground insects, skunks, bears (to a certain extent) so it is still a good value. And who didn't love a good treehouse when they were kids?

***Notice***

Casting SKINNY NINJA TYPES

Seeking thin/athletic types that have any of the following training:

• ROTC
• MARTIAL ARTS
• STAGE COMBAT TRAINING
• MILITARY

Ages 18 to 35, All ethnicities – Beards and long hair are welcomed!
Males 5’9 and taller, Females 5’6 and taller
Must be available for training. Open Availability during the summer!
Please submit at least 3 pictures (with at least one of you showing off your ninja skills), plus your age, height, weight, and phone number.

Please use the subject: NINJA

MUST HAVE OWN NINJA SUIT. PREFERABLY RED. We recommend the Poler x Airblaster Ninja Suit from Poler Stuff. This suit is made from Merino Wool, so it's naturally wicking and odor resistant. It's also got 4% Lycra for a little stretch. Other features include:

• 7-Panel form-fitting hood
• Full-length front chest zip
• Thumb loops at cuff
• 3500 waist zip – easy #2 bathroom access
• Front fly – easy #1 bathroom access

Picture of the Day - Cannon Beach, Oregon

Picture of the Day - This is on the beach at Cannon Beach, Oregon. The rock is Haystack Rock. Life at the Oregon coast is pretty good.

The Five Best Climbing Campgrounds in the U.S.

REI recently put out a blog post naming their Five Best Climbing Campgrounds in the country.

Which ones would you add? Add to the comment section below.

Snow Peak Dock Dome Pro Tent

Snow Peak Dock Dome Pro Tent

***FLASH TELEGRAM***

***SENT BY SWEDISH EXPLORER THOR RYKANDAHL RE: CLIMB OF 23,000 FOOT KARJIANG IN THE KULA KANGRI RANGE OF THE HIMALAYAS***

--ALL CLIMBERS ACCOUNTED FOR. ALL CLIMBERS IN GOOD CONDITION--

--THANKS TO MY SNOW PEAK DOCK DOME PRO TENT, WE ARE WARM AND DRY---

---SUPPOSE IT'S DUE TO THE 75D POLYESTER RIPSTOP TENT MATERIAL, THE PU COATED, TEFLON WATER-REPELLENT FLY, AND THE 300D POLYESTER OXFORD FLOOR THAT CAN STAND UP TO 10,000MM WATER PRESSURE. PLUS IT'S GOT ULTRA LIGHT DURALUMIN A7001 POLES. THIS TENT ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE---

---ALFFSON, MY CLIMBING PARTNER, IS KISSING THE FLOOR AND SAYING HE'S GOING TO MARRY THE TENT. WE MAY NEED HELP AFTER ALL---

Read This Blog

Hello...

I'm the person writing all of these witty product reviews for your enjoyment. If you like them, please make a comment in the comments section. Good, bad, indifferent, I don't care. I have a desperate need for attention and this a cry for help. I don't want to go back to writing boring product reviews such as, "it does this and that." But if no one cares, I might as well. Consider this a starving artist's sale. "Art" for the low, low price of FREE. And it's much better looking than that velvet Elvis picture you bought last week. I saw you buy it, so don't pretend it's not over your fireplace this very instant. (Isn't it weird how Elvis keeps staring at you no matter what part of the room you're in?)

So help a guy out. Read my camping gear reviews.

AMK Pocket Survival Pak

Admit it. You're one of those doomsdayers that think the end of the world is coming soon. Not sure what gave you that idea. Perhaps it was the meteoric rise in greenhouse gases that have eliminated much of the ice caps? Maybe it was the fact that now every Tom, Dick or Harry country can get their own nukes? Maybe you're a strict follower of the Mayan Eagle Bowl calendar which predicts the end of the world in 2012?

Well, talk is cheap, my friend. Actions speaker louder than words. [Insert additional Cliches here.] What you need is a plan. Say you're out walking the dog when it all goes down and you can't make it back to your survival shelter housing 3 years' worth of provisions. What will you do then, smart guy? I'd say the first smart thing you can do is carry the AMK Pocket Survival Pak. It's got everything you need to survive in the jungle - concrete or otherwise. Fish Hooks for catching fish out of Central Park Pond (sure they'll be contaminated, but a guy's got to eat), Duct Tape for extra padding on the soles of your shoes (post-apocolyptic pavement might be very hot), Tinder Quik for getting that fire going and cooking up some nice "Sewer Rat Stew," and tons more stuff. Just think, if you plan ahead and have a cameraman follow you wherever you go, you may just have the makings of another survivalist TV show! (Oops...sorry...no TVs left on planet.)

This Survival Pak, made by Adventure Medical Kits, weighs in at a miniscule 3.9 oz and is only 4" x 5" x 0.652" big so it'll fit nicely in your pants. Sure, you'll hear the joke "...or are you just happy to see me?" about a million times, but you'll have the last laugh when those guys come begging for you to catch 'em some fish.

As Karl Malden so famously said, "Don't leave home without it."

Here's what the AMK Pocket Survival Pak includes:

Duct Tape 1 - Duct Tape, 2" x 26" Instrument 1 - Pencil 4 - Safety Pins #3, 2" Sewing 1 - Heavy Duty Sewing Needle 1 - Heavy Duty Nylon Thread (50 ft.) Survival Instructions 1 - Waterproof Survival Instructions Survival Tools 1 - Aluminum Foil, Heavy Duty, 3 Sq. Ft. 1 - Compass, Button, Liquid Filled 4 - Fish Hook, #10 1 - Fresnel Lens Magnifier (2" x 3") 1 - Nylon Cord, #18, Braided, (10 ft. 150 lb test) 1 - Pocket Survival Pak Contents List 1 - Safety Wire, Stainless Steel, (6 ft of 0.020") 1 - Scalpel Blade #22 1 - Signal Mirror, Rescue Flash™ 1 - Snap Swivel, Size 12 1 - Spark-Lite™ Firestarter 2 - Sinkers, Tin 4 - Tinder Quik™ 2 - Waterproof Paper 1 - Whistle, Rescue Howler™

CiloGear Ultimate Mountaineering Pack

Poor old Patsy. He was King Arthur's sherpa/pack mule in "Monty Python & The Holy Grail." He hauled everything but the kitchen sink for the King. All without ever so much as a grumble or complaint. The least that the King could have done for him is give him a decent pack to carry all the gear.

If King Arthur were around today, I'd suggest giving Patsy CiloGear's Ultimate Mountaineering Pack. This 75L Worksack is made specifically for heavy loads. Whether you're climbing the foothills of England or the highest peaks in the world, you'll be glad to have this pack.

CiloGear Ultimate Mountaineering Pack

The pack is made of a super tough, super light fabric called Woven/Non-Woven Dyneema® (W/NWD®), which was developed after more than five years of R&D. It's pounds lighter than the competition and has three times the abrasion resistance of 1000d Cordura. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof?

This isn't the cheapest pack you'll buy, but it's probably the last one. You'll be giving this to your kids who'll give it to their kids. Eventually it will be brought to the new space station we'll all have to live on after we destroy the Earth. (No pessimism here!)

Just what was Patsy carrying for the King that was so all-fired important? I never saw him use any of it. Perhaps when Patsy said his only line of the movie, "It's only a model" he was really referring to his pack. We can only hope.

Kuhl Radikl Hiking Pants

Kuhl Radikl Hiking Pants

I'll admit it, when I put my mind to getting something, it's typically all I can think about. Lately, it's finding the perfect hiking/camping pants. My prerequisites? They had to dry quickly, be tough, look good and hold a lot of stuff.

There are a ton of outdoor clothing manufacturers making these outdoor pants now, and I've tried on what seems like a zillion of them. Each had something that initially drew my interest, but none had put it all together until I tried on Kuhl's Radikl pants.


When I put them on, they fit so well that I feel like the folks at Kuhl might have snuck into my bedroom and measured me while I was asleep. They wouldn't have done that, would they? Seriously, every part of these pants--from the waist to the crotch to the knees--fits perfectly. When I crawl into my tent after a long day of hiking, normally all I can think of is getting my heavy (sometimes wet) jeans off. But with these, I often sleep right in them. They are THAT comfortable. I suppose that's because they are 88% Nylon and 12% Spandex, so they stretch wonderfully. They also have a gusseted knit crotch, which adds to the flexibility.

I also like the fact that they have not one, but two cell phone pockets. I only have one cell phone, but I have a front pocket wallet that fits perfectly into one of these, so I don't feel weighted down by having too much stuff in the traditional front pockets.

The other thing I like is that Kuhl understands colors: what works and what doesn't. All their options would be colors I'm comfortable wearing around the campsite or out to dinner.

It's been nice to see the Kuhl brand get more of a foothold in the extraordinarily tough outdoor clothing industry. I hope they keep innovating.

GSI nForm Dualist Ultralight Cook System

GSI nForm Dualist Ultralight Cook System

The folks that invented this baby must have been great at puzzles. When I started taking this apart, I felt like I was taking apart a Russian nested doll set.

The nForm Ultralight line has taken the unique needs of fast light backpacking and built a system of solutions that defy the notion that ultralight means making sacrifices.

The Dualist includes 2 insulated mugs and 2 bowls as well as all the other great features of the Soloist. It nests with stoves canisters too! Weight: 1lb 2.7oz.


The Dualist features:
* 1.8 L Pot
* Strainer Lid
* 2-20 fl. oz. insulated cups
* 2-20 fl. oz. bowls
* 2 Sip-It tops
* Stove Bag

CrossKix

CrossKix

Typically I've always been one to follow the trends. Docksiders and Polo shirts in the 80s, acid-washed jeans in the 90s, and cargo shorts in the 2000s. But I am proud of the fact that I never fell for the Crocs fad. I've have never owned a single pair of Crocs and I'm a better person for it.

I know what you're saying, "that can't be true because everyone in the world has owned them." I just couldn't bring myself to buy any. I think they look clownish, uncomfortable and sweaty. And after seeing so many people wear them in places they shouldn't be, i.e., church, weddings, upscale restaurants, I resolved that I would not be one of these people.

Then I saw the CrossKix. While these are made of a similar EVA-type (Ethylene vinyl acetate) substance as Crocs, that is where the similarities end. These shoes are light, soft, and extremely comfortable. They have a velcro strap that allows you to adjust the fit until they're snug. They are anti-microbial and have strategically placed air vents to help your feet stay cool.

They come in 12 different color combinations and are sized for both men and women.

CrossKix is a relatively new company, having been initially funded through a KickStarter campaign in 2013. But they are growing and have recently launched a Spring 2015 line.

Check out this video from the company's founder, Eric Saligumba: 

Bottlekeeper

Bottlekeeper

I love simple solutions to seemingly complex problems. One of my favorites is the story of the American astronaut talking with a Russian astronaut. He was explaining how they were a having a problem writing with a pen while in zero gravity. He went to say that traditional pens work on the concept of pressure and gravity. We press down on the ball of the pen and gravity forces the ink downward onto the ball and onto our paper. Finally a contractor came up with a solution that involved adding a battery to the pen to create pressure and push the ink to the end of the pen. The American astronaut then asked the Russian astronaut how they solved this particular problem. The Russian said, "We used a pencil."

The BottleKeeper does just this. It keeps your bottled beer cold and protected. And it's design is one that when you see it, you say to yourself, "Well, Duh!" But did you think of it? No. Neither did I, and now I have something else to castigate myself with.

The BottleKeeper is made of a stainless steel shell, lined with 4mm of neoprene. The padded bottom of the shell is threaded and screws off to allow you to fit this over any standard long neck bottle. The cap (similar to your standard water bottle cap) simply screws on to keep the bottle secure.

The benefits of this product are endless (well, not really endless, but there are a lot of them.)

• Around the pool - no worries about breaking that bottle on the concrete
• Hiking - if it falls off a cliff, it might still be intact
• Driving - Looks like a water bottle, doesn't it? (Not condoning this behavior.)
• At the 5k - Wow it looks like you're really a dedicated runner, but really you just like to drink
• Any place that you want to people to think you're drinking water but you're not.

The BottleKeeper comes in the three colors, stainless, pink, or blue. You can also customize this with your favorite NFL team or college team. As of this writing it doesn't appear that Wisconsin is one of the school logos you can get on the bottle. Shame on you, BottleKeeper!

My hope is that they come out with ones that fits both the shorter bottles (lots of IPAs), and taller bottles (Corona.) But I'm sure they'll figure that out.

Poler Outdoor Stuff Two Man Tent

I recently watched the Discovery Channel's "Valley Uprising" documenting the battle over climbing supremacy between Royal Robbins and Warren Harding, and it got me to thinking. Both of these climbers excelled at their sport, but they took two different paths to get there. Royal Robbins was a purist climber, believing there should be a code of ethics for the correct way to climb a mountain. Warren Harding was the hard partying, avant garde climber that thought the only goal was to get to top of the mountain and anything you did along the way was perfectly acceptable. He'd bring booze and Thanksgiving turkeys up there to have a good time. And he conquered El Capitan first.

When I saw the Poler Outdoor Stuff Two Man Tent and its video, I was reminded that camping first and foremost is about having fun in nature. And oh, by the way, if you can be comfortable doing it, that would be preferable.

Watch the video below to see what I'm talking about.


This video just makes me laugh. And yet, it shows that the two man tent has been constructed with some serious thought as to the needs of camping purists.

Among the things I like about the tent are that it comes with two doors and two vestibules--extremely important for storing things outside and leaving more room inside. It's a little heavier than other tents at 7.5 lbs and when packed is 7" x 18". When set up the dimensions are 60" x 85" x 40". I like that the rain tarp has an eye shaped window that faces up so you can see the stars at night.

Polar also makes a ground cloth for this tent called the Mystic Tarpent. The Mystic doubles as an ultralight tent in its own right, so if you're doing some ultralight camping, this won't add much weight.

I've since been checking out their other product videos and they are hilarious! I highly recommend them.

DrinkTanks® Juggernaut

Living in the Pacific Northwest, we are constantly reminded of the great Oregon Trail, and how all those pioneers trudged thousands of miles up rivers and over mountains, all the while having to fight off grizzly bears and other ferocious beasts.

DrinkTanks® Juggernaut

The only thing that kept them going was their good sense to bring along plenty of beer. The problem was, those wagon trails weren't too good back then, and before long those beer bottles were broken. I can hear the conversation now. "Clem, all dem bottles-a-ber done broke and yer ale done gone!" "Well, Wife, we ain't moving 'nother inch 'til we gets s'more!" I realize that this paints a rather poor picture of the English skills of our ancestors, but you get the gist.

Fast forward one-hundred eighty years. You and your buddies are on a week-long camping trip way off the beaten path. You were in charge of bringing the beer. In your haste, you've gone and done a dumb thing just like Clem. You went and bought bottles. And just like back then, the trail to that special camping site was full of ruts and roots and rocks. And dag-nabbit if the truck didn't hit one of them real hard and you watched as the cooler strapped to the roof rack went flying, launching a week's worth of beer bottles through the air only to be smashed on the road.

What do you and your relative Clem have in common? You could have both used the DrinkTanks® Juggernaut!  The Juggernaut is the solution to keeping your beer safe, cold and carbonated!  It holds 128 oz. of frothy goodness, has double wall vacuum insulation and is cast from awesome 18/8 stainless steel. The poly cap is kept securely fastened by a leakproof double bail locking system. Contents can be kept cold for 24+ hours and hot for 12+ hours. With the optional Keg Cap™ System, you can turn your DrinkTanks Growler into a personal keg. This will keep your beer fresh for up to 3 to 5 days after you open it. This set comes with a cap, regulator and two threaded 16 gram CO2 cartridges. The Juggernaut comes in 11 stylish finishes or classic stainless steel.

If you don't need to haul that much beer, you can go with the DrinkTanks® Growler, which holds 64 oz.

Yes, you can put liquids other than beer in these. You'll still be the hero of any camp or trail when break out the refreshments!

Klymit Static V2 Sleeping Pad Review

When I was younger, I didn't have a big bank account, so I was always on the hunt for those elusive products that were cheap but worked just as well as their brand name counterparts. What I typically ended up with was junk. As I've gotten older, I still hunt for those bargains, but thanks to the internet, I get the advantage of seeing what other people think too.

So when I was on the hunt to replace my aging, bulky Therm-a-Rest, I was pleasantly surprised to find the Klymit Static V2. Finally, a product that's highly functional and comes at a great price.

Lightweight
I'm not one of those ultralighters that are so concerned with every ounce. But weight is weight. The Static V2 weighs in at 16.33 oz. While the weight is slightly more than the 15 oz. Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XTherm, it's not appreciably different.  And at 72" x 23" x 2.5", it's 3 inches wider than its counterpart.

R-Value (insulation)
The R-Value is only 1.3 as compared to the XTherm's 5.7, so you'll have to decide if that's important to you. I've got a nice sleeping bag with good under-body insulation, so the R-Value isn't as important to me.

Packed Size
The Static V2 comes in at a tiny 3" x 8", which fits into my pack so much better than my old Therm-a-Rest. Again, comparing it to the XTherm, it actually beats it by an inch on both dimensions.



Durability
The Static V2 has a top made of 30-Denier Ripstop polyester and a 75D coated bottom. While I have only had this sleeping pad one season, it has held up nicely.

Design
The pad features a v-chamber design, which limits air movement and heat loss. This also provides an ergonomic body map, optimized for performance and comfort. And it only takes 10-15 breaths to inflate. If you've ever forgotten to blow up your mattress until you retire from the campfire at the end of a long day, you can really appreciate this quickness. It took me considerably longer to inflate my old Therm-a-Rest.

Value
Now the best for last: the Static V2 comes in at a price of only $69.95 as compared to the XTherm's price of $199.95. I don't know about you, but I'll be bragging to my overspending camping buddies about my $130 savings for many years.

Marmot Limelight 3P Tent

A tent purchase is not something you'll do very often. Not every year. Hopefully not every ten years. But when you do need to get one, it's usually because you've been pushed into it. My story starts a year earlier. My friend, Troy, invited me on a week-long fishing trip on the upper Snake river.

I then had to do a quick mental inventory of my gear. Luckily, Troy was providing all the food and cooking provisions, so that left me with just basic needs such as sleeping bag and tent. I'll review my sleeping bag issues in another post, but the tent I figured I had covered. I owned a Eureka Sunrise 4 person tent that was probably 15 years old. It had served me well, but it hadn't been through any serious tests (read: weather) in many years. 

The first night of the trip was uneventful. Clear skies and warm weather for October. However, the second and third nights were another story. Heavy rains and some moderately high winds came careening up the Snake, hitting our unprotected campsite. Initially, I didn't think anything about it. I'd been in rains before and felt comfortably in knowing that my tent would hold up. I fell asleep despite the goings-on outside. My sleep only lasted a couple of hours however.  I woke up to my elbow sitting in a puddle of water in the corner of my tent. The fly was doing its job, but the floor was not. And I didn't have a good ground tarp either. I vowed then and there to get a new tent.

Fast forward a year and prior to the next Snake River trip I needed to get a tent that would keep me dry. And since I was in the market, I wanted to meet some other needs. The Eureka didn't have a vestibule, and as anyone with a similar tent knows, that means you're storing all your gear inside the tent, which makes for a very cramped space, even with just one person, nevermind two or three. I also wanted to get a tent that was light enough to do some backpacking. 

As I began my search, I started asking fellow camping enthusiasts what they recommended. A friend suggested I look into the Marmot Limelight. I immediately liked it. It had not one, but two vestibules and it came with a footprint fitted perfectly to its dimensions. My friend had done plenty of backpacking and said that while I may be drawn to the 2 person, the 3 person would provide a lot more room, and could still be managed on a pack.

The tent comes with a gear loft, and has two D Shaped Doors. It's got DAC Press-Fit Poles and color-coded "Easy Pitch" clips that make lining up the fly a snap. There are nice details such as jingle-free zipper pulls and light reflective guy line points and a welded, UV-resistant teardrop window on the fly. The floor has a catenary cut to keep the seam off the ground (no water in your tent!) The size is 46" x 66" x 93" and weighs in at 6 lb 11 oz, or 5 lb 15 oz with just poles, body, and fly. You can get the Marmot Limelight 3P in either Hatch/Dark Cedar, or Alpenglow (orange/yellow--the one I got.)

Needless to say, the Snake river trip was dry and comfortable thanks to my new tent.

GSI Glacier JavaPress

Sacre Bleu! What's with the French and their effete accents, their duvets, their bidets, and their fancy coffee? Excuse me, I meant café. Don't you just want to hate them? But you can't, because that coffee is so good! But how's a man to get good coffee like that when he's out in the wilderness? Well, the waiting is at an end. Now is the time to get yourself a GSI Glacier Stainless JavaPress.

The GSI Glacier JavaPress makes French Press coffee renowned for its elegant simplicity and a rich, smooth, pure taste that cannot be duplicated with drip, filter or percolator-type coffee makers.

The GSI JavaPress is a thermally-insulated, double-walled carafe with a pour-through lid to keep your coffee hotter longer. The durable Glacier Stainless® steel body and stable, high impact plastic base will give you years of reliable coffee in the outdoors.

Black Diamond Icon LED Headlamp

Dear Hiring Manager,

I would like to apply for the position of Everest Expedition Leader as listed on Craigslist with a post date of 3/16/15. After reviewing the requirements of the position, I feel my background is well-suited to the position.

While I have never lead an expedition of the scope and magnitude entailed in this position, I feel that my experience in other areas more than makes up for this. For the last 10 years, I have led trips comprised of several individuals to the coffee shop on the corner of our block. This has required immense organizational and leadership skill. Group members were required to meet at a designated rendezvous spot outside the building at 10:30 am. They were told to talk with no one on their way out, and if questioned were told to report they had a "client meeting." With only one exception this was carried out without incident.

Other skills I possess that would lend themselves well to this position include my ability to keep my balance whilst walking on the icy sidewalks near my home, the ability to light my cigarette while wearing heavy gloves, and my rope work ability gained through several years of using the rope tow at our local ski hill. (I am skilled in the use of the one-hand in front, one-hand in back technique that I am sure you require.)

Of particular note is my knowledge in the areas of lighting and proper headlamp usage. I currently possess the 320 lumen Black Diamond Icon headlamp, and have mastered the skills necessary to operate its QuadPower LED spotlight, two SinglePower white LEDs and two SinglePower red LEDs. I am also familiar with the power settings that include full strength (in proximity and distance modes), dimming, strobe, red night vision. This has come in particularly handy when using the lowest brightness level to speak directly with other team members and not wanting to blind them. I am also intimately familiar with the Icon's battery power meter.

It's for these reasons I believe you should hire me as your next Everest Expedition Leader. Please contact me as your earliest convenience. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

Tim Bulb

ps: references available upon request.

Oregon Scientific Portable Public Alert Radio

Due to a writer's strike at BigFire Camping Gear, the following product review is being given by me, Jim Spergousy, the web designer.

I ain't no wordsmith like that other fella that writes in this blog. All's I know is that I'm supposed to write something about this here radio. I guess he figured that since I got one of these I oughta know what I'm talking about.

Well, all I really can tell you is I don't recommend leaving home without one. The WR601N Emergency Portable Weather Radio provides emergency alerts anywhere in the U.S. When you're camping, traveling, boating, hiking, or working outdoors, use the WR601N to receive weather information and emergency broadcasts from the NOAA and National Weather Service.

Let me give you an example of why you might wanna get one of these. Me and my buddy Glen went camping last summer. We didn't even think about checking what the weather was going to be like. Glen has this super waterproof tent that can practically float on water, so I figured whatever the heavens could bring on wouldn't be a match for us. Uh, well, I was wrong. A damn lighting bolt hit a tree right next to us, and that baby came straight down on our tent. Luckily it landed right between ol' Glen and me. But that tent was ruined. Boy, Glen was pissed. Oops, I mean mad. We ended up sleeping in the truck that night. My back is still screwed up from that.

Anyway, like I said, I'm no writer, but I do talk from experience. GET ONE OF THESE!

--Jim

Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork Trekking Poles

We understand your class reunion is coming up and you've decided to throw a little pre-party for your old high school buds. They haven't seen you in 10 years, but you've kept in sporadic contact with them, mostly filling them with b.s. stories of your fantastic accomplishments since matriculation. You've really put yourself out there, haven't you? You told the boys that you ran with the bulls in Pamplona. That wasn't quite right was it? Sure you were in Pamplona, but from what we hear, you were getting sloshed on grappa in some quaint little taverna 20 miles away.

Another doozy is that you worked as a deep-sea diver on a treasure-seeking vessel and that you recovered millions in gold coins. C'mon now, you can't even swim, and you won't let the ocean even nibble at your toes since you saw Jaws.

Our favorite of your fabrications is that you climbed Mt. Everest. Uh-huh. Did you take the southeast route from Nepal or northeast route from Tibet? How did you handle the Khumbu Icefall? Yeah, we've all read "Into Thin Air" so you better have your facts straight. 

You may also want to consider having a few props laying around the house to make this fairytale seem plausible. We would suggest some climbing rope, some crampons and perhaps a nice set of hiking poles staged in the corner. We're particularly fond of Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork Trekking Poles. If any of the guys are still listening to you by this point, you can explain to them that these poles are made of 100% carbon fiber, so they are super light and strong. You can also tell them that the Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork features a premium cork grip and the supremely functional adjustability of dual FlickLock Pro, which makes them efficient and simple to operate even with Everest's 100-mph wind gusts. Finally, make sure to tell them that the poles come outfitted with interchangeable carbide Tech Tips, low-profile Trekking Baskets and Powder Baskets.

We hope you have a great time at your pre-party. We hope your buddies show up too.

Aquapac Camera Case

Dude! Wassup? How's your summer going? We totally missed you on our canoe trip last week. It was tight! I'm so knackered today though. Brandon was totally letting air biscuits fly all weekend. It was like one big bug bomb. Coop got so s-faced that he was barking at the ants Friday night. We got some good pics of that! And best of all--CJ and Sean swore they saw bigfoot at the edge of the river. Yeah, I said it. Bigfoot. They're all screaming and freaking out, and we're like, "What are you freaking out about, JO?" So CJ grabs his camera and jumps into the river thinking it's only a foot or two deep and he goes straight down. He popped back up and swam to the shore but by that time we were way down river and there was no bigfoot anywhere. I think they made the whole thing up. Anyway, his camera was totally buggered. Man he was hella-pissed. He now has something against bigfoot. What did bigfoot ever do to him? I told him to take it easy and next time he should get an Aquapac Case to make sure his camera doesn't get wet. Just think dude, we could have totally been famous, but CJ has to foul it up because he doesn't have an Aquapac Case. They're totally waterproof and are designed with ultra-clear optical quality acrylic lens that allows you to take photos directly through the case, keeping your camera protected at all times. Plus, it's guaranteed submersible to 15 ft. AND it floats safely in water! It also comes with an adjustable neckcord. Oh, and it's PVC free, which I guess is a good thing. Not sure why. Anyway, dude, we totally missed you. Trip of a lifetime. CJ's going back this weekend on a Bigfoot expedition. I told him to stay clear of the water. Ha! L8R, dude!

SPOT Satellite Personal Tracker

National Birdwatchers of America Newsletter - January 2015

Hello Members! Happy New Year! 2015 is going to be a very memorable year for our organization. We have several new initiatives that we think you'll be excited about. First, after much persistence and on-site protest, we have gained entry into the Umatilla Hunting Refuge so we may track the migration of the beautiful snow goose as it makes its way down from Canada. Members, be sure you wear your blaze orange vests if you decide to visit this area. We all remember what happened to Bill Johnson last year when he decided to go camo with that duck decoy stuck to his head. May God rest his soul.

Secondly, we now have access to the Mt. Hood National Forest, so for the first time you may be lucky enough to get a glimpse of the rare Comb-Over Eagle--a cousin of our nation's most treasured bird, the Bald Eagle. The only difficulty in finding this bird is that it prefers to nest near the peak of Mt. Hood. So we recommend the following equipment: Climbing Ropes, Harness, Carabiners, Ascenders, assorted other climbing gear, cold weather parka, your special fog-free binoculars with built in digital camera, and most of all, the SPOT Satellite Personal Tracker. The Spot Satellite Tracker uses a network of global satellites to track the users. You can press 3 different buttons to summon help. There is a 911 button that contacts a national Rescue center that is manned 24 hrs a day who will contact the proper rescue officials in your area; a HELP button that you can register on their website with up to 10 personal contacts for friends and family via phone or text messaging; and an OK button that a user with web access use to can track progress and location of the person with the Tracker.

One last thing, members! Remember, annual dues are coming up. We've been able to keep them at the same great rate of $949/year. Please get those payments in soon so we can keep providing you with this great information and keep you in touch with your passion of bird watching. And remember our slogan, "If You Don't Get Hit With Birdsh**, You're Not Looking Up!"

--Your faithful President,

Bruce Flutters