I just finished watching the classic horror film, "The Hollow." Okay, it's not such a classic. Actually it's pretty bad and filled with washed-up actors. Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you Judge Reinholdt fans? Mr. Fast Times played the hero's father, an angry football coach. I feel sorry for Judge having to resort to taking bit parts in third rate slasher flicks, but a man's gotta eat.
Let's count the cliches, shall we? Popular high school cheerleader is inexplicably attracted to Loner, nerd geek boy. Jealous football player ex-boyfriend threatens to pound his brains in. Old geezer janitor warns boy to stay away from the graveyard. Boy finally believes the stories when he's attacked by headless horseman. Oh, did I forget to tell you? This academy-award winner is about the modern day decendent of Ichabod Crane, the poor fella in Sleepy Hollow. Hey, it's hard to come up with new ideas for horror movies!
My favorite scene is where Boy makes cheerleader girlfriend hide in a boarded-up shack in the middle of the graveyard. Yeah, what a good idea! No need to check whether there are any dead bodies in there. (ah, yes, there are.) Cheerleader realizes this after she's locked herself in and has used her super-human cheerleader strength to tear the door knob off. She proceeds to scream and yell for help. What she really could have used is a Leatherman Skeletool Multitool. She could have used its universal bit driver locking blade to reattach the door knob. Or she could have used the wire cutters to cut through the chicken wire covering the windows. I didn't actually see any chicken wire, but I just KNOW its there. Or she could have used the good ol' stainless steel blade to take care of her Loner, Nerd Boyfriend when he comes back for her.
The only problem with this movie was that almost all the stars lived. What kind of horror movie is that? I give "The Hollow" 1 star, and that's only because during the commercial breaks of the football game I had something to watch. I highly recommend this movie, er, multitool.
