Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork Trekking Poles

We understand your class reunion is coming up and you've decided to throw a little pre-party for your old high school buds. They haven't seen you in 10 years, but you've kept in sporadic contact with them, mostly filling them with b.s. stories of your fantastic accomplishments since matriculation. You've really put yourself out there, haven't you? You told the boys that you ran with the bulls in Pamplona. That wasn't quite right was it? Sure you were in Pamplona, but from what we hear, you were getting sloshed on grappa in some quaint little taverna 20 miles away.

Another doozy is that you worked as a deep-sea diver on a treasure-seeking vessel and that you recovered millions in gold coins. C'mon now, you can't even swim, and you won't let the ocean even nibble at your toes since you saw Jaws.

Our favorite of your fabrications is that you climbed Mt. Everest. Uh-huh. Did you take the southeast route from Nepal or northeast route from Tibet? How did you handle the Khumbu Icefall? Yeah, we've all read "Into Thin Air" so you better have your facts straight. 

You may also want to consider having a few props laying around the house to make this fairytale seem plausible. We would suggest some climbing rope, some crampons and perhaps a nice set of hiking poles staged in the corner. We're particularly fond of Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork Trekking Poles. If any of the guys are still listening to you by this point, you can explain to them that these poles are made of 100% carbon fiber, so they are super light and strong. You can also tell them that the Black Diamond Alpine Carbon Cork features a premium cork grip and the supremely functional adjustability of dual FlickLock Pro, which makes them efficient and simple to operate even with Everest's 100-mph wind gusts. Finally, make sure to tell them that the poles come outfitted with interchangeable carbide Tech Tips, low-profile Trekking Baskets and Powder Baskets.

We hope you have a great time at your pre-party. We hope your buddies show up too.

Aquapac Camera Case

Dude! Wassup? How's your summer going? We totally missed you on our canoe trip last week. It was tight! I'm so knackered today though. Brandon was totally letting air biscuits fly all weekend. It was like one big bug bomb. Coop got so s-faced that he was barking at the ants Friday night. We got some good pics of that! And best of all--CJ and Sean swore they saw bigfoot at the edge of the river. Yeah, I said it. Bigfoot. They're all screaming and freaking out, and we're like, "What are you freaking out about, JO?" So CJ grabs his camera and jumps into the river thinking it's only a foot or two deep and he goes straight down. He popped back up and swam to the shore but by that time we were way down river and there was no bigfoot anywhere. I think they made the whole thing up. Anyway, his camera was totally buggered. Man he was hella-pissed. He now has something against bigfoot. What did bigfoot ever do to him? I told him to take it easy and next time he should get an Aquapac Case to make sure his camera doesn't get wet. Just think dude, we could have totally been famous, but CJ has to foul it up because he doesn't have an Aquapac Case. They're totally waterproof and are designed with ultra-clear optical quality acrylic lens that allows you to take photos directly through the case, keeping your camera protected at all times. Plus, it's guaranteed submersible to 15 ft. AND it floats safely in water! It also comes with an adjustable neckcord. Oh, and it's PVC free, which I guess is a good thing. Not sure why. Anyway, dude, we totally missed you. Trip of a lifetime. CJ's going back this weekend on a Bigfoot expedition. I told him to stay clear of the water. Ha! L8R, dude!

SPOT Satellite Personal Tracker

National Birdwatchers of America Newsletter - January 2015

Hello Members! Happy New Year! 2015 is going to be a very memorable year for our organization. We have several new initiatives that we think you'll be excited about. First, after much persistence and on-site protest, we have gained entry into the Umatilla Hunting Refuge so we may track the migration of the beautiful snow goose as it makes its way down from Canada. Members, be sure you wear your blaze orange vests if you decide to visit this area. We all remember what happened to Bill Johnson last year when he decided to go camo with that duck decoy stuck to his head. May God rest his soul.

Secondly, we now have access to the Mt. Hood National Forest, so for the first time you may be lucky enough to get a glimpse of the rare Comb-Over Eagle--a cousin of our nation's most treasured bird, the Bald Eagle. The only difficulty in finding this bird is that it prefers to nest near the peak of Mt. Hood. So we recommend the following equipment: Climbing Ropes, Harness, Carabiners, Ascenders, assorted other climbing gear, cold weather parka, your special fog-free binoculars with built in digital camera, and most of all, the SPOT Satellite Personal Tracker. The Spot Satellite Tracker uses a network of global satellites to track the users. You can press 3 different buttons to summon help. There is a 911 button that contacts a national Rescue center that is manned 24 hrs a day who will contact the proper rescue officials in your area; a HELP button that you can register on their website with up to 10 personal contacts for friends and family via phone or text messaging; and an OK button that a user with web access use to can track progress and location of the person with the Tracker.

One last thing, members! Remember, annual dues are coming up. We've been able to keep them at the same great rate of $949/year. Please get those payments in soon so we can keep providing you with this great information and keep you in touch with your passion of bird watching. And remember our slogan, "If You Don't Get Hit With Birdsh**, You're Not Looking Up!"

--Your faithful President,

Bruce Flutters

Celestron SkyScout Personal Planetarium

So you want to be an intellectual. Well forget it. Unless you can conversate about Keynesian economics or Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, you will be with the rest of us hoi polloi.

But what if you want to elevate yourself from bourgeois to aristocrat status? We've got the perfect device for you. The Celetron SkyScout. Take this baby to parties and you can be saying thing like, "You see that star? Yeah, that's named Nashira and it's in the Capricornus constellation." We can't guarantee it will make you more friends. In fact you might hear some people whispering things like, "what a know-it-all" or "he's full of sh**." But so what? They're just jealous. Who needs dimwits like them anyway? With the SkyScout you'll develop NEW friends that won't put you down for your superior knowledge of the galaxy.

The SkyScout is a revolutionary handheld device that uses advanced GPS technology with point and click convenience to instantly identify thousands of stars, planets, constellations and more. This is not a telescope but a pocket planetarium. Simply point at anything in the night sky and press identify and the answer pops up on the backlit LCD screen. Press locate and select from the pulldown screen what you are looking at and scan the sky, an Red LED blinks until you locate it. Choose to use the headphones and listen to the audio. It's got an SD card slot for the optional “SkyScout Expansion Cards,” audio presentations that provide hours of entertainment on a variety of topic. It also has a USB port, allowing the database to be updated with new objects as they are discovered, comets, etc.

The celestial database includes over 50,000 Stars, 1,500 Double and Variable Stars, all 88 constellations, over 100 deep space objects including Galaxies, Nebulae and Star Clusters, over 200 audio descriptions of the most popular celestial objects. 

Open Letter to Mr. Parker

Dear Mr. Parker:
 
I am writing to apologize for my part of what happened last weekend. I wanted you to know that our idea was just to have a simple camping trip but it kinda got out of control. I'll try and explain the way it happened.
My brother Rich, myself and our friends Brent S. and Dave M. were planning to go camping in the woods behind my house. We were very excited and we told a few people at school what we were going to do. Your daughter Jill and her friend Peggy said that sounded like fun, but we told them they couldn't come because it wouldn't be right to have girls on the same trip. 

We thought we had picked a very remote campsite, but when we got there it turns out Jill and Peggy were already there. We told them that as long as they stayed in their own tent and not our brand new Eureka! Tetragon 8 Tent, we wouldn't nark on them. 

It was getting pretty dark out by the time they tried to set up their tent and they just couldn't do it (you know girls and tents...) So they asked if they could come in ours. They were getting pretty scared after they said they heard bears coming through the woods (I think it was just squirrels), so we let them in. 

They were passing a bottle of what they said was "Kool-Aid" between them. We had NO IDEA that it was Boones Farm wine. And when you came up to our campsite and yelled "Is Jill here?" Jill didn't say, "Is that my f***ing dad?" She actually said, "I hope that's my dad." So please don't be too hard on Jill. And I sure would appreciate it if you didn't tell our parents about this. 

We love camping and our Eureka! Tetragon 8 Tent and wouldn't want it taken away from us

Sincerely,

Derek Hines, 9th grade, Lincoln Junior High

p.s. Jill and Peggy were only wearing bras and panties because their clothes had gotten covered in poison ivy.

Injinji Outdoor 2.0 Original Weight Crew NuWool

Okay, you've got to admit it, you want to put these socks on. Just to know what it feels like to have each of your toes fitted like a glove. Sure it looks funny, but hey, if it's warm, your feet will thank you.

Injinji Outdoor 2.0 NuWool Original Weight Crew Socks are designed to separate you toes allowing for free movement of your foot from heel to toe. Eliminating skin-on-skin contact prevents hot spots and blisters! 70% Nuwool, 25% Nylon, 5% Spande-Flex SM: men's 5-7.5, wmn's 6-8.5. MD: men's: 8-10.5, wmn's 9-11.5, LG: men's 11-13, wmn's 12+ XL: men's 13+.

Outdoor Products Power Pack Daypack 3.0

Anyone looking for the ultimate college student backpack? Outdoor Products makes the Power Pack Daypack 3.0. It's perfect for all the items you bring to class. Large main pocket holds notebooks, files, media folders, books, magazines and other similar-sized items and also includes 3 zip organizer pockets. Additional organizer pocket has numerous slot, zip, neoprene and mesh pockets for digital gear; securely stash your tablet in its own foam-padded slot pocket and keys on a fob.
Hidden compartment behind pack straps holds passport and plane tickets in a retractable sleeve; hidden lower compartment at lower back hides a wallet. Exterior pocket with stretch gussets on front holds lunch and jacket; 3 padded fleece-lined exterior pockets store fragile items. It's got a breathable padded back panel; padded shoulder straps; sternum strap  It comes in two colors: Black and Majolica Blue, and is decent sized at 1470cu.