New Year's Resolution
Earn some quick money using the following method:
Step 1. Wait for moderately snowy, rainy or icy day.
Step 2. Find retail business selling high-priced goods such as jewelry or furs.
Step 3. Enter establishment and proceed to fall due to "slippery" floor.
Step 4. File claim with said establishment's insurance company.
Step 5. Claim extreme back pain, which causes loss of movement range as well as loss of consortium between myself and the wife. Ask for $500,000.
Step 6. Settle for $250,000.
Step 7. Take the year of 2014 off. Go on vacation.
If you haven't fiendishly plotted this for your New Year's resolution and instead just want to get around town this winter without spending much of it on your kiester, you may want to invest in a pair of Yaxtrax Ice Cleats. And really, if you did go ahead with the above plan, that's a once-in-lifetime trick that you won't be able to pull off again, so you might as well walk around town in supreme gripping confidence. No more tip-toeing or baby steps waiting for "the slip." Steven Wright said it best..."You know that feeling you get when you lean back on your chair and you almost tip over, but you catch yourself at the last moment? I feel like that all the time." You don't have to feel like that any more if you get yourself some Yaktrax.
Yaktrax have a unique, spikeless, patented coil design, unlike other products on the market. Made with high strength, abrasion resistant 1.4 mm steel coils and heavy duty natural rubber material, the Yaktrax Pro easily conforms to the shape of your boot or shoe. With its patented SkidLock coil design, the Yaktrax Pro provides 360 degrees of traction on packed snow and ice and can be worn in temperatures as low as -41° Fahrenheit. (Don't ask us where the figure of -41° came from. It's top secret.)
Time for you to earn an honest living and striding confidently toward your destiny in a pair of Yaxtraxs Ice Cleats.
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