StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier

Last weekend our family went for a trip to the coast. We rented a small beach house that had everything we would need for an enjoyable stay. But my wife packed our vehicle like we were moving in permanently.

"You never know," she said. "They may not have comfortable mattresses, so we should bring the sleeping bags" and "what if they don't have a fireplace poker? We should bring ours just in case."

And the kids were no better. "What is there to do at the beach, dad? We better bring the Wii and some games."

Luckily, we had just purchased our StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier. The Max version holds a whopping 16 cubic feet of stuff. That's considerably larger than the competitors. We were able to get 4 suitcases, the espresso machine, a hammock(?), and the coveted Wii console in it. My wife may have a hoarding problem.

The StowAway Hitch Cargo Carrier has a swing-away feature that lets me get easy access to the trunk contents. It also comes pre-wired with tail lights that hook up to your car's electrical system and it even has a license plate holder. They thought of everything!

Well, the weekend was a success. 9/10th's of the stuff we brought didn't get touched. But as my wife was quick to point out, "Luck favors the prepared." By that reasoning we must be the luckiest family in the world.

Best Pocket Chainsaw

Finally! A saw you can fit in your pocket! We have been waiting for years for this invention. A little background. I come from a logging family. For 5 generations my family has made their living by cutting logs and hauling them out of the forest. Are you familiar with Easter Island? Yeah, my family took care of that. Before we got there, it was a tall forest of Douglas Fir. But how is anybody going to see monolithic statues when they're surrounded by trees? Want an example more close to home? How about Mt. Rushmore. Believe it or not, Mt. Rushmore was covered with Christmas trees. Poor Abe Lincoln looked like he was spiking his hair. They called us in to take care of that.
So suffice to say, we know what we're talking about when it comes to saws. In fact, we've tried to invent a pocket saw ourselves, but with horrible outcomes. My great-grandfather Boyd almost lost the family jewels after his spring-loaded pocket saw uncoiled in mid-step. So, while we're a little sad that we didn't come up with this unique design, we're glad someone did.
This Pocket Chainsaw is the best pocket chainsaw you'll find. It's made of high strength, heat-treated steel and it's coated for rust resistance. It'll fit in your shirt pocket, pants pocket, coat pocket, hot pocket, or any other pocket you can find. Ah, Hot Pockets...couldn't you go for one of those right now? Me too. Check out Jim Gaffigan's take on Hot Pockets here. The saw is 28" long and weighs in at only 6oz. Heck, that's like saying it floats on air! What's more, it has 124 Bi-directional teeth. See ya later, Alligator! There's a new sherriff in town! And best of all, it can be used by one or two persons. Make a new friend by inviting them to saw wood with you. You may get slapped a few times as they infer that this means something else, but it will be worth it when you find a true friend. 

Campside Whiskey Old Fashioned

When I lived in the Midwest, my friends Peach, Boss, Todd and I would go camping the first week in May in upper Wisconsin. For those of you who know anything about upper Wisconsin in the Spring, you know that it's still damn cold. We liked to find lakes that were uninhabited by any other campers, which, at that time of the year was most of them.

One of the rituals we developed was having Old Fashioneds after dinner. Peach had a special recipe that really hit the spot. But it was a lot of work for a campsite. Luckily, he had his travel cocktail bar, containing almost everything needed.

The Ingredients are as follows:

• Kessler Blended Whiskey
• 7-up
• Angostura Bitters
• Maraschino cherries
• cherry juice
• sugar
• orange
• lemon slice
• cinnamon sticks

The process is as follows:

Pour a couple of ounces of 7-up into a highball glass, then add two teaspoons of sugar and two jiggers of bitters. Muddle. Then add ice to the brim of the glass. Now add 1 ounce (or to taste) of Kessler. It has to be Kessler. No other blended whiskey works as well. Believe me, I've tried.

Now stir with a cinnamon stick. Add zest of orange, slice of orange and slice of lemon. Add jigger of cherry juice. Stir again and drink.

There is nothing better than sitting in your camp chair sipping your Old Fashioned and staring at a roaring campfire on a cold, crisp Northern Wisconsin night (and listening to the Chief on the radio playing country & western songs...right guys?)

Windcatcher Airpad 2 Sleeping Pad - the best backpacking sleeping pad

I recently attempted to break the record for the longest "Shh" but came up just short of the 1 minute, 44 second world record currently held by Jovah Siegal set on 7/26/10. My time was 1 minute 6 seconds. Granted, this was my first attempt and I will start to train vigorously over the next few months to attempt to break this record that has stood for almost five years.

Now I realize that I'm ready to get myself a Windcatcher Airpad 2 Sleeping Pad. The Windcatcher is the first sleeping pad that is inflatable without having your lips touch the valve. Their Quickstream™ Inflation multiplies your breath 10 times.

The Windcatcher® valve allows for EFFORTLESS DEFLATION and even doubles as the pad's carrying case, so you'll never lose or fumble with a clumsy stuff-sack again. The Windcatcher® AirPad 2™ also features an extra comfy 4" thick quilted support system for superior cushioning and comfort.

I'll be posting my world record attempt on YouTube any day now. Look for the press release announcing a new WORLD RECORD!

Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammock

I am UBA KAMILA, the first son of the third wife of President Jacque Kamila. With regards to detailed information and recommendation of your person and company from the Johannesburg Chamber of commerce and Industry (JCCI), I wish to ask for your favor and assistance in a very confidential business arrangement. A large amount of Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammocks have come into my possession. I am needing your assistance in receiving this hammocks for safe keeping till when i come over to your country.
 

These hammocks are highly sought-after. The new Asymmetrical shape provides instant comfort over rocky, wet or sloping terrain and protection from sun, wind, rain, black flies, etc. The Expedition includes a patented self-closing entrance through the bottom, which seals automatically and a new comfortable shape to keep your back straight and level when resting on the diagonal. If you want to know how to hang a hammock, view this video. So now you understand how valuable this shipment is.

These hammocks were given to me as a portion of inheritance from my father and was never disclosed to anyone in the family except my twin sister, due to the polygamous battle for the struggle of birth right and for the fact that this his major properties and wealth were shared among his four legitimate wives.

My Mother happened to be third although she died when i was seven years old and we have little or nothing out of it.

I am currently in loggerheads with my elder brother MUSA, a major general who is currently Democratic Republic of congo’s (DRC) head, after our father was fatally shot dead by 2nd deputy defense secretary Haishiva Haludu on tuesday night, as a result of a growing rift between him and some of his top army commanders.

All i want from you is to assist me in claiming my consignment from the Security Company and assist me also in transferring the hammocks into your posession.

IF there is any way you can assist me, morally and financially, I would be most indebted to you. Please endeavor to keep this business confidential though it is 100%risk free. I am prepared to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance.

Best regards,

Uba Kamila

Campfire in a Can

Store Employee: "Hello, Thank you for calling IGA. How can I help you?"
Me: "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
Store Employee: "Yes, we do."
Me: "Well you better let him out!"
<Click>

Ah, just think. There was a time when I thought that was funny. I'm sure the store thought it was hilarious. But when you're 11 and completely bored in the pre-cell phone era, what do you have but the telephone and your anonymity?

This little story sheds light on two things: first, I was emotionally stunted as a kid, and second, I like things in a can. So when I saw the Campfire In A Can, I knew it was right up my alley.

In terms of car camping I have always been frustrated at getting to a particular spot only to find out that they didn't have a fire pit or grill. The Campfire In A Can portable propane fire pit solves this problem. It also is great in areas where there are firewood restrictions or fire bans.

It's easy and quick to set up uses no wood, so it's smoke-free and spark-free, there are no ashes to clean up, and it's safe for use on patio mats, decks and grass.

You're not going to be lugging this thing in your pack on a long trip, but it serves a purpose--making you feel like you're camping. What is camping without a fire?

To buy one of these great portable propane fire pits, go to www.campfireinacan.com.

Folding Firebox Nano Camp Stove

Is Kickstarter the coolest thing or what? The other day I was browsing on the site, trying to decide where to invest my extra millions, when I came across a camping product that is the ultimate in ultralight gear.

The Folding Firebox Nano is a foldable backpacking stove that weighs less than 6 oz. When folded, it's only 3" wide and .25" thick. That is tiny. The site says it has a "proprietary cross-feed fuel delivery system" which really means it allows you to insert sticks into holes on two sides of the stove and cross them, which creates a quicker, less smokey fire. If you don't want to use sticks, it can also accept a Trangia Spirit Burner, which accepts alcohol stove fuel. The Firebox Nano is hinged so you don't have to assemble it. Just pop it open, direct the pot stand arms inward for a small cup, or outward for a larger pot or frying pan and you're all set.

Now, I'm all for homemade backpacking stoves or hobo stoves, but why make one when the firebox nano has already been invented?

Nomad Collapsible Hot Tub

Are you "That Guy?" When you go to a party, does anyone even acknowledge that you have arrived? Do you find that people avoid the space or room that you're standing in? When you strike up a conversation, does the other person suddenly say, "It looks like I need a refill," and b-lines away from you?

If you are "That Guy" there is still hope. You just have to bring something to the party that gives you instant party cred. Something that says, "I know how to party the right way."

While it's not a six-pack or some fireball, the Original Nomad Collapsible Hot Tub is just the thing to get the party started.

This collapsible hot tub is designed to be easy to set up and get soaking. Simply insert the framing tube and support poles. If you want it hot, attach the separately purchased heater coil unit, then fill with water. The whole process takes just 20 minutes. For remote sites, Nomad recommends using a Honda WX10 portable water pump that is capabe of filling the tub in 10 minutes.


The 225 gallon tub is 60" in diameter and 24" high. The Nomad comes in red, yellow, or black and has 18 oz vinyl walls and has a 24 oz. vinyl floor.

Friends sold separately.

Rescue Me Balloon SOS Device

Rescue Me Balloon

Time: 1973.
Place: the Mississippi River
Situation: A young boy and his father are out on a leisurely boat ride aboard their trusty 15 foot Cacci Craft runabout. Several miles from civilization, the father decides to head into a backwater slough to do a little fishing. Boy sets anchor and they fish for 30 minutes. At the end of that time period, father attempts to start their reliable 65 hp Mercury outboard. It will not start. Over and over the father tries to start it without luck. Eventually father decides they should try to paddle to the main channel to get someone's attention so they can be towed to the nearest marina. This goes horribly wrong and they end up stuck on a small island separating the slough from the channel. It's getting late. Storm clouds are on the horizon. What to do?

If the Rescue Me Balloon had been invented then, they could have launched this and been rescued within a short time. The Rescue Me Balloon is a lightweight, compact, easy-to-carry device, which puts an SOS balloon 150 feet into the air, flashing an SOS signal with a super-bright LED that can be seen for miles. As far as SOS devices are concerned, led balloons are the way to go. Your emergency rescue is imminent.

Instead, father gets out of the boat to try and pull it off the island, only to be confronted with a deadly water moccasin snake, whose strike narrowly misses the father's head.

Hours later, having finally been able to paddle the craft to the main channel, the father/son team are able to flag down a passing boat and are towed to safety.

The Cacci Craft (now dubbed the Crappy Craft) and its POS Mercury engine are sold to some sucker and the father buys a 45-foot houseboat, which stays in port 95% of the time. The boy becomes hydrophobic and moves to the desert. The domino effect rears its ugly head. This is a true story (except for the last part. I didn't move to the desert and am not hydrophobic. Makes a better story though, doesn't it?)

Tentsile Stingray Tent

When I was a kid, the Sasquatch craze was in full bloom, with multiple shows and specials about the hairy beast. We lived in the woods and my imagination was incredibly vivid. Every noise or movement was further proof that Bigfoot was on our deck or outside my second-story window looking in. Needless to say, I didn't do a lot of solo camping back then.

Fast forward decades later. I just watched Les Stroud's new series on the Science channel called "Survivorman: Bigfoot."  And the fear is back. I need to do something. I have to face my fear. Live amongst the giant. But how to observe him in his natural habitat while giving myself a measure of security?

I will live in the trees. And I have just the right tent to do it.  The Tentsile Stingray is my answer. The Stingray is a 3-person air-born tent. It is triangular, with straps stretching from each corner to a tree. the straps are secured to tree via ratchet mechanism to create a perfectly suspended treehouse. It comes with a removable flysheet which can be pegged outwards to the ground to create a covered porch area. The tent is accessed via a floor hatch in the bottom of the tent or via the large front door.

If you put this thing high enough, say 12 feet off the ground, you should be out of the reach of Bigfoot. I'm not sure if Bigfeet (is that the plural?) can jump, but if they can you might want to put it a little higher.

Of course, if you don't believe in Sasquatch, then you can lower it somewhat. It will still protect you against know predators - snakes, ground insects, skunks, bears (to a certain extent) so it is still a good value. And who didn't love a good treehouse when they were kids?

***Notice***

Casting SKINNY NINJA TYPES

Seeking thin/athletic types that have any of the following training:

• ROTC
• MARTIAL ARTS
• STAGE COMBAT TRAINING
• MILITARY

Ages 18 to 35, All ethnicities – Beards and long hair are welcomed!
Males 5’9 and taller, Females 5’6 and taller
Must be available for training. Open Availability during the summer!
Please submit at least 3 pictures (with at least one of you showing off your ninja skills), plus your age, height, weight, and phone number.

Please use the subject: NINJA

MUST HAVE OWN NINJA SUIT. PREFERABLY RED. We recommend the Poler x Airblaster Ninja Suit from Poler Stuff. This suit is made from Merino Wool, so it's naturally wicking and odor resistant. It's also got 4% Lycra for a little stretch. Other features include:

• 7-Panel form-fitting hood
• Full-length front chest zip
• Thumb loops at cuff
• 3500 waist zip – easy #2 bathroom access
• Front fly – easy #1 bathroom access

Picture of the Day - Cannon Beach, Oregon

Picture of the Day - This is on the beach at Cannon Beach, Oregon. The rock is Haystack Rock. Life at the Oregon coast is pretty good.

The Five Best Climbing Campgrounds in the U.S.

REI recently put out a blog post naming their Five Best Climbing Campgrounds in the country.

Which ones would you add? Add to the comment section below.

Snow Peak Dock Dome Pro Tent

Snow Peak Dock Dome Pro Tent

***FLASH TELEGRAM***

***SENT BY SWEDISH EXPLORER THOR RYKANDAHL RE: CLIMB OF 23,000 FOOT KARJIANG IN THE KULA KANGRI RANGE OF THE HIMALAYAS***

--ALL CLIMBERS ACCOUNTED FOR. ALL CLIMBERS IN GOOD CONDITION--

--THANKS TO MY SNOW PEAK DOCK DOME PRO TENT, WE ARE WARM AND DRY---

---SUPPOSE IT'S DUE TO THE 75D POLYESTER RIPSTOP TENT MATERIAL, THE PU COATED, TEFLON WATER-REPELLENT FLY, AND THE 300D POLYESTER OXFORD FLOOR THAT CAN STAND UP TO 10,000MM WATER PRESSURE. PLUS IT'S GOT ULTRA LIGHT DURALUMIN A7001 POLES. THIS TENT ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE---

---ALFFSON, MY CLIMBING PARTNER, IS KISSING THE FLOOR AND SAYING HE'S GOING TO MARRY THE TENT. WE MAY NEED HELP AFTER ALL---

Read This Blog

Hello...

I'm the person writing all of these witty product reviews for your enjoyment. If you like them, please make a comment in the comments section. Good, bad, indifferent, I don't care. I have a desperate need for attention and this a cry for help. I don't want to go back to writing boring product reviews such as, "it does this and that." But if no one cares, I might as well. Consider this a starving artist's sale. "Art" for the low, low price of FREE. And it's much better looking than that velvet Elvis picture you bought last week. I saw you buy it, so don't pretend it's not over your fireplace this very instant. (Isn't it weird how Elvis keeps staring at you no matter what part of the room you're in?)

So help a guy out. Read my camping gear reviews.

AMK Pocket Survival Pak

Admit it. You're one of those doomsdayers that think the end of the world is coming soon. Not sure what gave you that idea. Perhaps it was the meteoric rise in greenhouse gases that have eliminated much of the ice caps? Maybe it was the fact that now every Tom, Dick or Harry country can get their own nukes? Maybe you're a strict follower of the Mayan Eagle Bowl calendar which predicts the end of the world in 2012?

Well, talk is cheap, my friend. Actions speaker louder than words. [Insert additional Cliches here.] What you need is a plan. Say you're out walking the dog when it all goes down and you can't make it back to your survival shelter housing 3 years' worth of provisions. What will you do then, smart guy? I'd say the first smart thing you can do is carry the AMK Pocket Survival Pak. It's got everything you need to survive in the jungle - concrete or otherwise. Fish Hooks for catching fish out of Central Park Pond (sure they'll be contaminated, but a guy's got to eat), Duct Tape for extra padding on the soles of your shoes (post-apocolyptic pavement might be very hot), Tinder Quik for getting that fire going and cooking up some nice "Sewer Rat Stew," and tons more stuff. Just think, if you plan ahead and have a cameraman follow you wherever you go, you may just have the makings of another survivalist TV show! (Oops...sorry...no TVs left on planet.)

This Survival Pak, made by Adventure Medical Kits, weighs in at a miniscule 3.9 oz and is only 4" x 5" x 0.652" big so it'll fit nicely in your pants. Sure, you'll hear the joke "...or are you just happy to see me?" about a million times, but you'll have the last laugh when those guys come begging for you to catch 'em some fish.

As Karl Malden so famously said, "Don't leave home without it."

Here's what the AMK Pocket Survival Pak includes:

Duct Tape 1 - Duct Tape, 2" x 26" Instrument 1 - Pencil 4 - Safety Pins #3, 2" Sewing 1 - Heavy Duty Sewing Needle 1 - Heavy Duty Nylon Thread (50 ft.) Survival Instructions 1 - Waterproof Survival Instructions Survival Tools 1 - Aluminum Foil, Heavy Duty, 3 Sq. Ft. 1 - Compass, Button, Liquid Filled 4 - Fish Hook, #10 1 - Fresnel Lens Magnifier (2" x 3") 1 - Nylon Cord, #18, Braided, (10 ft. 150 lb test) 1 - Pocket Survival Pak Contents List 1 - Safety Wire, Stainless Steel, (6 ft of 0.020") 1 - Scalpel Blade #22 1 - Signal Mirror, Rescue Flash™ 1 - Snap Swivel, Size 12 1 - Spark-Lite™ Firestarter 2 - Sinkers, Tin 4 - Tinder Quik™ 2 - Waterproof Paper 1 - Whistle, Rescue Howler™

CiloGear Ultimate Mountaineering Pack

Poor old Patsy. He was King Arthur's sherpa/pack mule in "Monty Python & The Holy Grail." He hauled everything but the kitchen sink for the King. All without ever so much as a grumble or complaint. The least that the King could have done for him is give him a decent pack to carry all the gear.

If King Arthur were around today, I'd suggest giving Patsy CiloGear's Ultimate Mountaineering Pack. This 75L Worksack is made specifically for heavy loads. Whether you're climbing the foothills of England or the highest peaks in the world, you'll be glad to have this pack.

CiloGear Ultimate Mountaineering Pack

The pack is made of a super tough, super light fabric called Woven/Non-Woven Dyneema® (W/NWD®), which was developed after more than five years of R&D. It's pounds lighter than the competition and has three times the abrasion resistance of 1000d Cordura. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof?

This isn't the cheapest pack you'll buy, but it's probably the last one. You'll be giving this to your kids who'll give it to their kids. Eventually it will be brought to the new space station we'll all have to live on after we destroy the Earth. (No pessimism here!)

Just what was Patsy carrying for the King that was so all-fired important? I never saw him use any of it. Perhaps when Patsy said his only line of the movie, "It's only a model" he was really referring to his pack. We can only hope.

Kuhl Radikl Hiking Pants

Kuhl Radikl Hiking Pants

I'll admit it, when I put my mind to getting something, it's typically all I can think about. Lately, it's finding the perfect hiking/camping pants. My prerequisites? They had to dry quickly, be tough, look good and hold a lot of stuff.

There are a ton of outdoor clothing manufacturers making these outdoor pants now, and I've tried on what seems like a zillion of them. Each had something that initially drew my interest, but none had put it all together until I tried on Kuhl's Radikl pants.


When I put them on, they fit so well that I feel like the folks at Kuhl might have snuck into my bedroom and measured me while I was asleep. They wouldn't have done that, would they? Seriously, every part of these pants--from the waist to the crotch to the knees--fits perfectly. When I crawl into my tent after a long day of hiking, normally all I can think of is getting my heavy (sometimes wet) jeans off. But with these, I often sleep right in them. They are THAT comfortable. I suppose that's because they are 88% Nylon and 12% Spandex, so they stretch wonderfully. They also have a gusseted knit crotch, which adds to the flexibility.

I also like the fact that they have not one, but two cell phone pockets. I only have one cell phone, but I have a front pocket wallet that fits perfectly into one of these, so I don't feel weighted down by having too much stuff in the traditional front pockets.

The other thing I like is that Kuhl understands colors: what works and what doesn't. All their options would be colors I'm comfortable wearing around the campsite or out to dinner.

It's been nice to see the Kuhl brand get more of a foothold in the extraordinarily tough outdoor clothing industry. I hope they keep innovating.

GSI nForm Dualist Ultralight Cook System

GSI nForm Dualist Ultralight Cook System

The folks that invented this baby must have been great at puzzles. When I started taking this apart, I felt like I was taking apart a Russian nested doll set.

The nForm Ultralight line has taken the unique needs of fast light backpacking and built a system of solutions that defy the notion that ultralight means making sacrifices.

The Dualist includes 2 insulated mugs and 2 bowls as well as all the other great features of the Soloist. It nests with stoves canisters too! Weight: 1lb 2.7oz.


The Dualist features:
* 1.8 L Pot
* Strainer Lid
* 2-20 fl. oz. insulated cups
* 2-20 fl. oz. bowls
* 2 Sip-It tops
* Stove Bag