Trip to Sunny Lake
A Travelogue by Alex Smith
Day 1 - 6:30 am: What a glorious morning! An absolutely perfect day to go camping. I am so stoked! For the record, it's going to be me, my girlfriend Freda, our friend Mike and his son Luke. Our plan is to is drive to the Sunny Lake Wilderness Area, unload our gear and hike the 10 miles into Sunny Lake. Everyone is in good spirits.
Day 1 - 8:30 am: Made it to Sunny Lake Wilderness Area. It took a little longer than expected due to a minor delay. As we were driving, Freda swore that a small rodent of some kind--she thinks an opossum--ran in front of our car. She was sure we hit it, so we pulled over and inspected the front of the vehicle. As no animal was found, Freda began to search the tall grass along the road for the injured creature. After no such road kill was found, we resumed our trip. And we're here! Let's get going!
Day 1 - 10:30 am: Halfway to Sunny Lake! Getting this far took longer than expected, since Mike and Freda had to keep switching off helping me portage the canoe. (I really wish I had gone with the Kevlar model.) Luke was no help at all even though he was perfectly capable. I don't know why Mike puts up with that attitude. Freda humming the theme to "Deliverance" is also starting to grate on me just a tad. But no worry...in just a short while we'll be at beautiful Sunny Lake!
Day 1 - 12:30 pm: We should be there by now, but it started to rain about an hour ago and everyone just HAD to get their rain gear on. What's the big friggin' deal about a little rain? And Luke is such a whiner - "I'm cold!" "I'm wet!" "I'm hungry!" I don't think he's got the camping bug yet. We'll get him turned around as soon as he sees how great Sunny Lake is!
Day 1 - 2:15 pm: We must have taken a wrong turn a while back because I can't see Sunny Lake anywhere. Mike was SO adamant about taking that left fork a few miles ago. I told him the path clearly went to the right, but no, Mike ALWAYS has to have his way. I sure hate the fact that he's so selfish. He must drive his wife mad. I'm glad Freda isn't like that. Now Luke is just sitting on the ground listening to his I-pod. What a little Sh**. I'm sure we're not more than a half-mile to Sunny Lake. I can feel it!
Day 1 - 3:45 pm: We've retraced our steps but can't seem to find where the fork in the path was. Freda is complaining that she wants to give up and go home. I KNEW she didn't like camping! What a fraud her Facebook profile was with all that "I really love camping" stuff. Yeah, camping in her bedroom eating bon-bons! I little exercise wouldn't hurt that XL ass of hers either. Mike says his shoulders are getting tired from carrying the canoe. He suggests we leave it and come back for it tomorrow. Yeah right! I'm not leaving my $2500 canoe out here for any numskull to take!
Day 1 - 4:15 pm: Mike, Luke and Freda are all headed back to the car. A bunch of jerks if you ask me! All I wanted to do was show them how GREAT camping is, and how beautiful Sunny Lake is at dusk. That's just fine. I DO NOT NEED THEM AT ALL! The joke is on them though. I've got the keys to the car!
Day 1 - 6:50 pm: Not quite sure where I am. It's getting pretty dark out though and this damn canoe is so friggin' heavy. WHY DID I BRING A CANOE? I've decided to leave the canoe here and come back for it later after I've set up camp at Sunny Lake.
Day 1 - 8:30 pm: It's pitch black out here. My headlamp batteries are dead. It's been pouring rain for 2 hours. The trail I've been following seems to have dead-ended. Where's that F***ing lake? Why didn't I buy that GPSMAP® 64 like Freda had suggested? I'd be out of this jam already. That thing has got everything--color screen, waterproof, 4 GB of internal memory and a microSD™ card slot, quad helix GPS receiver that tracks both GPS and GLONASS satellites simultaneously. I AM SO STUPID! I am definitely buying that if I ever get out of this mess!
Day 2 - 6:30 am: I had a miserable night last night. Tried to set up the tent but lost the poles in the darkness. Ended up just throwing it over me and sitting down. Woke up in a deep puddle with leaches all over me and a rash from something else. It's all Mike's fault. What a horrible friend. I miss Freda. She was the best thing I ever had.
Hang on...I hear voices...
It's Freda! I'm SAVED!
Day 2 - 6:35 am: This is Freda. Alex is an idiot. After I get him out of here with my GPSMAP® 64, I'm breaking up with him. And what's with this stupid travelogue?
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