Dear Doctor:
Thanks again for all you’ve been doing to help me with my anger problems. I really think I’m making some good progress as of late. I did want to run something by you though, just to get your take on it since you’re a professional. A buddy of mine recently went camping with his wife to a very remote area of an unnamed forest. (I don’t want to bother you with details.) All the way the wife was bitching (from what he said) about how far it was, whether he packed her the Go Anywhere Privacy Shelter (she can’t stand to go potty outside), and other annoying, grating conversation. So they get to the campsite and my buddy starts to put up the tent. He’s got it all done and staked in, when his wife says, “I don’t want it under that tree. What if it falls?” So he does a little grumbling and moves it. Then the wife says, “It’s too close to the stream. What happens if it floods?” Now my buddy is getting really irate, but he moves it again. Just then the wife says, “It’s too close to the…” But she doesn’t get to finish, because my buddy whacks her in the head with a shovel. So now my buddy has a problem. It’s getting dark out and he’s got to do something with her. But he can’t see anything. What’s the right thing for my buddy do?
Thanks for your advice on this, Doc.
Sincerely,
Vincent
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Dear Vincent,
Thank you for your recent letter. I must say it’s quite disturbing. Your buddy seems to have a very similar anger problem to the one you possess. As to what he should do with her I can’t really advise because I don’t have all the details of her condition (and I’m not really a medical doctor anyway–didn’t have the grades for it, so I doubt I could help her.) But I think I can help him with the issue of darkness. I recommend to all my “camping” patients that they get a Black Diamond Apollo Lantern. The Apollo is a bright, non-glaring, soup-can-sized backcountry lantern that is perfect for any campsite activities. It’s got a 3-watt LED and has a frosted globe which creates a bright, non-glaring light. It also comes with a dimming switch in case you don’t want to let the whole world know what you’re up to out there.
Please ask your friend to give me a call. Perhaps I can help him further. Remember, anything he tells me is strictly confidential (doctor-patient privilege) so he has nothing to fear.
Your doctor,
Dr. Phil Hurrup
p.s. The Black Diamond Apollo uses NRG Rechargeable Batter Kit or 4 AA alkaline batteries. Battery power meter displays charging status and/or existing battery life. Extended height: 9.5″ (240mm). Collapsed height: 5″ (127mm). Diameter: 3″ (75mm). Weight: 220g.
